I’ve Now Reached the Point in my Life Where I Can Say I’m Eleven Years Someone’s Senior

September 30, 2015 0 comments

… and I’m not ok with it.

I turned thirty this year and I like to think I haven’t really freaked out about it. There’s been no gross, white girl wasted sobbing. My alcohol consumption has not significantly increased. I didn’t get a new tattoo or piercing to prove I’m still cool (though I will get a new tattoo at some point because I love tattoos). I didn’t fly to Mexico and shack up with a muy caliente local… yet. I am going there in November and I reserve the right to slut it up if my liquor soaked brain so chooses. However, that has nothing to do with my age and more to do with my hoo-ha.

That all said, now that I’m older online dating seems to think my tastes have also aged and perhaps matured. So much so that I’ve noticed a significant increase in the number of 40+ dudes showing up in my quickmatch options. WTF?! Once a chick hits thirty she’s over the  hill and the only guys she can hope to pull are those significantly older who, alternatively, are trolling for significantly younger chicks?

Well, in your face online dating!


I pulled a nineteen year old. Take that! judgmental and arbitrarily ageist dating app algorithms!

Obviously I didn’t respond because, hello, he’s nineteen and, as previously mentioned, I’m eleven years his senior.


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