Probably More of a Second Date Kind of Question

November 26, 2015 0 comments

So this is a textversation I had two nights ago. We had just set a date to meet… hold on, let me back up a bit. This is the same guy who expects sex to be delivered to his doorstep (ok, one of the guys). And yes, even after that I said fuck it (I need this ring) and agreed to meet up with him. Liquor was definitely involved in that decision.

Ok, so I’m drinking and texting and then this happens.

Swallow

Yes, I was trying to encourage him to drink while taking medication of some sort. No, I don’t actively want him to die. Yes, I am a terrible human being.

And yes, I waited over 24 hours to respond to his poignant question. I wanted to make sure I sent something equally thought provoking.

He responded with “lol”. It wasn’t worth another screenshot. I should probably be thanking god that he didn’t take me seriously. (Coincidentally, I had a friend in high school who gave a guy head, swallowed, and then called me an hour later FREAKING OUT, worried that she’d get pregnant. I shouldn’t be allowed to choose the people in my life. Clearly my judgement is extremely poor.)

Is it really too much to ask for a modicum of respect? Just a little bit? Perhaps enough so that you don’t assume your dick is going to be in my mouth by the end of the night?

And I’ve been chatting with this guy for a bit. He’s one of those dudes who, if I called him out on being a disrespectful arsemonkey, he’s just  be all, “hahaha hey it was just a joke, loosen up a bit.”

Yaaaa, turns out, my sense of humor is inversely proportionate to your being a dick.

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