I’ve been thinking about signing up for one of the paid dating sites for a while now. Figuring that the likes of POF and OKCupid just aren’t going to get me what I want. So I signed up for eHarmony. I willingly opted to pay $24.95/month for 12 months. I wasn’t drunk.
I am now.
I paid the fee and logged back in to eHarmony, thinking pretty highly of myself. I just took a responsible step towards finding lerv, I mean love, like the adult that I am – or at least play on TV. I already had over 10 message thingys waiting for me, I was kinda feeling like a stud (or the female equivalent anyways).
Read the first guy’s profile. Blocked him.
Read the second. Blocked him.
Didn’t even finish reading the third, blocked him after seeing his first picture. Just say no to Affliction guys.
Five minutes after agreeing to pay a total of almost $300 for 12 months of online dating, I REGRET EVERYTHING.
All the decisions that brought me to this point in my life. I REGRET THEM ALL.
Except for the ones that lead to me wearing shark leggings and fake Ugg boots. Those were good decisions. But the rest? They can burn in hell.