OkCupid is a Cruel App

January 5, 2016 0 comments

OkCupid is a cruel, cruel app.

The Mountain Man I went Girl Crazy over, you know, the one that I offered my phone number up on a sacrificial platter only to be rejected by the gods of online dating (I mean, really, who rejects a sacrifice?!) never responded and I’ve now, officially, given up hope.

Fine. I’m moving on.

Or trying to but the app won’t let me.

You know when you go onto the app and it gives you a summary at the bottom of your phone: # visited your profile, # liked you, Mountain Man of your dreams sent you a message.

YAY!!!! I got a message!!!!! From the one person I was hoping to get a response from!!!!!

HALLELUJAH it’s a Christmas Miracle!

Except it isn’t.

The app is a liarpants. It is a sadistic tease bent on tormenting me. I can practically hear it maniacally laughing at me.

The guy hasn’t messaged me and never will because He’s Just Not That Into Me (ya I watched that movie but stopped short of taking actual notes) and the app is an asshole and needs to receive a million papercuts and be dipped in lemon juice.

Beware the asshole app. It plays with your emotions on the rare occasions you have them.

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