I tried on pants the other day and it was a shit-show of epic proportions. I mean, it was basically a remake of the classic horror film, The Blob, in my pants.
Oh no, wait, those are just my thighs. My bad.
The similarities don’t end there. The tagline for that movie reads, “It eats you alive!”… I kind of feel like that’s what my thighs are doing when a dude goes down on me. You know, you get really into it and lose the ability to think (if he’s good at it) and maybe your thighs start to tighten around his head… and I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this. Please don’t make me continue (that is NOT what he said, dammit!!!!) 😉